return of the asshole
Oct. 7th, 2008 09:28 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
adelaideseanMy favourite blog, Vonnegut's Asshole, is back too. Hurrah! Here's an excerpt from the announcement email, for those (like me) who can't read about robots without thinking of Flight of the Conchords:
'You know what's a fun diversion during long road trips? Turn on the radio and try to determine which songs would be appealing to robots. ... It's pretty easy to identify a song that would have robot appeal. Does the voice have that echoey vibrato of somebody singing into a fan? Does the melody remind you of the special effects from a 1950's science fiction movie, particularly the "beep-bop-boop" of a mad scientist's super-computer or the instrument panel of a spaceship? Then you're listening to a song that's pandering to a robot audience.
'You know that song "Disturbia" by Rihanna? Robots love it. They can't get enough of it. Every time they hear that "bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum" part, they just have to dance. Even if their power level is low and they really need to plug into the nearest outlet, they'll still get in a quick shuck n' jive. But you know what songs robots can't stand? Anything by Steve Nicks. Specifically "Gypsy." They despise everything about it. If you're being attacked (or more likely, bullied) by a gaggle of robots, just start humming a Stevie Nicks tune and I promise you, those robots will take off like you just threw a bag of magnets at them. It's not like they fear Stevie Nicks. Her music just bums them out. When they're at a robot club and they're dancing - which, because robots tend to be unoriginal, always looks like something out of Herbie Hancock's "Rockit" - and the DJ puts on a Stevie Nicks' song, the robots will immediately stop and groan. "What the hell?" they'll gripe to each other. "We were having a perfectly good time and he puts on this shit? Let's get out here!" And then they'll moonwalk out of there, because as everybody knows, that's how robots show contempt.
'You can waste hours in a car trying to identify robot-friendly songs. Fatboy Slim's "Rockafeller Skank"? Somewhere a robot is shakin' his well-oiled bootie. Crosby Stills & Nash's "Our House"? Not if you don't want to get punched by a robot. "Mr. Roboto" by Styx? Robots feel like they should like this, as it's ostensibly about them, but they still find it confusing and slightly offensive. ("Why is it sung in Japanese? It's such a cultural stereotype that all robots are made in Asia.") They'll tolerate Styx, but if it's all the same, they'd be much happier with some Postal Service or Basement Jaxx.'
'You know what's a fun diversion during long road trips? Turn on the radio and try to determine which songs would be appealing to robots. ... It's pretty easy to identify a song that would have robot appeal. Does the voice have that echoey vibrato of somebody singing into a fan? Does the melody remind you of the special effects from a 1950's science fiction movie, particularly the "beep-bop-boop" of a mad scientist's super-computer or the instrument panel of a spaceship? Then you're listening to a song that's pandering to a robot audience.
'You know that song "Disturbia" by Rihanna? Robots love it. They can't get enough of it. Every time they hear that "bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum" part, they just have to dance. Even if their power level is low and they really need to plug into the nearest outlet, they'll still get in a quick shuck n' jive. But you know what songs robots can't stand? Anything by Steve Nicks. Specifically "Gypsy." They despise everything about it. If you're being attacked (or more likely, bullied) by a gaggle of robots, just start humming a Stevie Nicks tune and I promise you, those robots will take off like you just threw a bag of magnets at them. It's not like they fear Stevie Nicks. Her music just bums them out. When they're at a robot club and they're dancing - which, because robots tend to be unoriginal, always looks like something out of Herbie Hancock's "Rockit" - and the DJ puts on a Stevie Nicks' song, the robots will immediately stop and groan. "What the hell?" they'll gripe to each other. "We were having a perfectly good time and he puts on this shit? Let's get out here!" And then they'll moonwalk out of there, because as everybody knows, that's how robots show contempt.
'You can waste hours in a car trying to identify robot-friendly songs. Fatboy Slim's "Rockafeller Skank"? Somewhere a robot is shakin' his well-oiled bootie. Crosby Stills & Nash's "Our House"? Not if you don't want to get punched by a robot. "Mr. Roboto" by Styx? Robots feel like they should like this, as it's ostensibly about them, but they still find it confusing and slightly offensive. ("Why is it sung in Japanese? It's such a cultural stereotype that all robots are made in Asia.") They'll tolerate Styx, but if it's all the same, they'd be much happier with some Postal Service or Basement Jaxx.'
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Famous Robots
Date: 2008-10-07 05:23 am (UTC)Heh! That is such a brilliant excerpt.
I'm now humming Mi-Sex "Computer Games" for some strange reason...
When I think robots, however, the top three I think of are:
1/ Marvin from Hitch Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy
2/ Robby the Robot from The Forbidden Planet
3/ Robot from Lost In Space
Are there any others which automatically spring to mind?
Btw, I love your 'Flight of the Conchords' reference. ;-)
Re: Famous Robots
Date: 2008-10-07 05:56 am (UTC)(Speaking of the Conchords: have you seen this (http://ronaldchevalier.com/)?)